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Shiurim & Adult Education
THOUGHTS ON VAYETZEI BY TOVA HERSH
This sedra was my son Adam’s barmitzvah sedra so I see this as no coincidence that this was randomly assigned to me. In some way I was quite pleased, as I always felt I needed to revisit it as, at the time, I was struggling with some of the events within it.
When I prepared a drosha in 1999 the theme was very much about deception, justice and redemption within the Torah. Deception with Yaacov (Jacob) being given the birthright blessing instead of Aisav (Esau). But also, in the coming sedra of Vayeishev (we see deception, justice and redemption) we have the story of Yehuda (Judah) and Tamar (Genesis 38) – in brief Yehuda failed to give his youngest son to Tamar who was widowed by two of Yehuda’s sons. At the time I struggled to understand how we could be so deceptive as a race with strong principles and convictions.
26 years later and recognising that my thinking was shaped by things I had read, my thinking is now more reflective, and I understand that these events were mapped out by Hashem. In order to reach the pinnacle of success we needed Yaacov to lead the Jewish people.
We will never understand the trauma that Yitzchak experienced at the time of the akeidah (sacrifice – Genesis 22). Can anyone really walk away from such trauma unscathed? This might explain why Yitzchak accepted Aisav unconditionally, despite his faults. Whilst Aisav received a blessing that made him subservient to Yaacov, he also became a Leader, went on to marry one of Yismael’s daughters and he was the Leader of his own people.
The deception in this sedra was Lavan’s renege on the agreement he made with Yaacov. Yaacov had asked Lavan if he could marry Rochel (not just any Rochel but Rochel his daughter). Lavan agreed to this and in return for this Yaacov would work for 7 years for Lavan. Rochel knew her father was not to be trusted and that her older sister Leah would not allow her to marry before she was married so Yaacov and Rochel had shared questions and answers which only they knew. Rochel was reflective and realised that her sister Leah would be humiliated (You can kill a man once, but when you shame him – you kill him many times over – Midrash Eliyahu 42) so she shared the answers with Leah, knowing full well that Yaacov would be marrying Leah instead of her. What a dilemma to find oneself in. It is one thing to know that your father is deceitful, but it is another thing to then deliver deceit to the one you plan to marry. My question here is that it is not uncommon for the oldest child to be married first before subsequent siblings, yet Yaacov and Rochel only thought of this as a concept pertaining to the type of man Lavan was. They did not focus on the fact that this was possibly a common practice and therefore how could they resolve this issue without waiting 14 years to be together?
We also see deception in the previous week’s sedra of Toldot when Yaacov outwardly impersonates Aisav but inwardly stays as himself. We know that Rivkah (Rebecca) took ownership of the deceit. She had cooked the meal for Yitzchak (Isaac), and she provided Aisav’s clothing and skins to resemble Aisav’s hairy arms and neck. So was the deceit only Rivkah’s? Yaacov was an honest man, so he did not disguise his voice nor his reference to Hashem, thereby hinting to his father Yitzchak that he was really Yaacov. We can see from this that Yaacov was not comfortable deceiving his father.
The deception then continues with Rochel saying she is unable to get up when her father enters her tent (after he chases after them when they left Charan). But she also lies by saying that she does not have her father’s idols.
We know that Yaacov is an honest and fair man, so when Lavan makes the accusations regarding the theft of his idols, Yaacov makes a curse on the perpetrator – that whoever stole the idols will surely come to an untimely death (his thinking was that it was one of his servants and not his beloved Rochel). Yaacov’s strength in his convictions were admirable but not necessarily shared by all members of his family. As we know that at the end of the sedra Rochel is hiding the idols and later on dies in childbirth.
The narrative is very much a lesson in good middot (deeds) but also a reporting of events: Yaacov marries Leah and has four sons with her: Reuven, Shimon, Levi & Yehudah. Rochel unable to have children gives her handmaiden Bilhoh to Yaacov as a wife and she produces two sons Dan & Naftali. Leah then gives her handmaiden Zilpoh to Yaacov and she also produces two sons Gad & Asher. Leah has two more sons Yissochar and Zevulun as well as a daughter Dinah. It is only after these 11 births did Rochel eventually produce Joseph and later on Binyomin in the following weeks’ sedra of Vayishlach. All Yaacov’s sons represent the 12 Tribes.
So what do we learn from this sedra – we learn that it is important to stay true to oneself. To be mindful that not everyone shares our truths or beliefs and that ultimately everything that occurs is gam zu l’tov (all for the good).
Wishing you a thoughtful Shabbos
Shabbat shalom.
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